the dance

I've discovered a new thing that brings me joy. Or maybe re-discovered would be more accurate.

dancing.

Yep. Some of my favorite (and most embarrassing!) childhood pictures are of me dancing at various ages and stages of dress (or undress in the case of the embarrassing ones!) I loved it. I remember at church, grabbing my friend Andrea by the hand and pulling her to the middle of the floor during worship and making her dance with me. There was something even then that loved connecting with God not just in mind and spirit, but in body too.

This past year, dance has been something God has continued to bring to my attention. It started last August at our vision retreat before beginning Equip. One of the leaders prayed for me and had a picture of me dancing and said that was powerful in worship. About one month later, during our worship time in Equip one of the leaders spoke something similar to me. She said she felt like God was saying He was going to be teaching me something new in worship, that He was going to use me to help lead the church to new places of creativity in worship, a place of open heavens to get divine breakthrough. Three or four times over the next few months I had people pray similar things over me. 

I wish I could say I took it all to heart and put it to action. But instead, I looked at the "task" instead of Jesus. I went to OCU, I know what dancing looks likes! I didn't feel like a dancer, I felt kind of foolish. I'd dance sometimes when no one was looking, but then I'd get embarrassed that I saw myself dancing and stop. I pushed it all to the back of my mind and assumed it must be a metaphor for something, not a call to really dance.

That is, until work today. I'm working the front desk of a spa where they do massage, and one of the perks of working there is we can get great prices on massages. Last week I had my first one with this wonderful therapist named Gwen. I didn't really know her, but I just felt like I was supposed to go to her. The massage was great! Afterwards I thanked her and had to rush off to meet a friend. But today we had our lunch breaks together and she looked at me intently and asked if I danced. 

"I used to." I replied. "We had to take dance classes for my degree in school and I danced growing up. I really love it. I wouldn't consider myself a dancer, but yeah, I dance. Why?"

She told me that's what she got when she was working on my legs and that she had meant to ask me about it. She continued on with more conviction,

"You need to keep dancing. You don't have to take a class or anything, you can just dance at home. But it's important."

There was a weight to her words that stirred my heart. I can't remember everything she said, but the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through her words so clearly.

"It will make everything flow, it's a release. Places that feel stuck will be freed, it's so important for your creativity. I've been needing to tell you this but hadn't gotten the chance.   You really need to dance again."

I don't know if Gwen knew she was prophesying over me or not, but there was a change in the atmosphere of that break room that was unmistakably God. How kind He is to speak to us in so many different ways and places!

My roommates are both gone tonight, and our apartment has beautiful solid wood floors. We joked when we moved in that we could totally run a dance studio out of our apartment to make some extra money. And tonight, the studio is open!

I'm writing this during my water breaks. I feel silly even writing this, that I'm dancing around in my apartment alone like a crazy person, but to be honest I really relish this kind of silly. My pulse is rushing, there's just an exuberant joy that dancing stirs up. I really needed it! I needed a creative outlet and a spiritual outlet, and He gave me that little encouragement I needed.

Let us praise His name with dancing and make music to Him with tambourine and harp. ~ Psalm 149:3

 

Home

Just thought I'd share some pictures of our apartment so you can see what it all looks like. It's so nice having furniture and getting settled into a rhythm of things. We had our first roomie dinner last night and got to just catch up and pray for each other which was wonderful. So blessed to be able to live with these girls and to live in such a bright and beautiful place!

Our living room! 

The big windows are my favorite thing, it makes everything so light and cheery.

This is Colleen and my room. College 2.0!

Brusha brusha brusha!

Kitchen/dining room

Our cozy kitchen

My favorite part of the kitchen!

There you have it! Still have a few boxes to unpack and we have some decorating still to do, but it's home!

Beholding Glory

What is before my eyes determines what is in my heart. I do not mean just my physical eyes, but my spiritual eyes as well. I was reading through old journal entries this morning to remind myself of what God has been doing the past few months. In doing so, I came across an entry from April where I was feeling very defeated and tired. In response to my cries, I felt God asking me where my eyes were, if they were on Him or the gap where I saw my lack. He whispered to my weary heart that I needed to learn to live in love and not in facts. Now please hear me, I'm not saying we should ignore the facts before us. But it was a question of where I landed, was I going to stop with what was before me or press in to the deeper truth behind.

Since moving to L.A. a verse I have taken much encouragement from is 2 Corinthians 3:18 which says:

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

Previously, this verse spoke to me about how we are already glorious because of what Christ has done for us and in us and how we are growing in that glory. This morning though, as I re-read this entry, God brought this verse to my mind and highlighted "beholding the glory of the Lord." I am transformed into the same image as what I am beholding. If all I place before me are discouraging facts or seeing things as they are, my heart lives in only what is possible and it is so easy to get discouraged not only with my situations but with myself as well. If I am only seeing facts about myself, I miss the potential and future God has for me and it is so easy to feel defeated.

When God told me to live in love and not facts, He wasn't saying to ignore the facts. But to take that step of faith past them, into the place of love and identity. Facts are just facts, but what am I choosing to do with them? Do I take them to Jesus, and behold them in the light of His love and glory? Love sees not just what is now, but what is possible. When a parent holds their new child, they don't just see the wrinkled little face and diapers, but are filled with excitement at who this child will be and their love enables them to dream. This morning, I felt God speaking the same thing over my city. If I look at L.A. through the lens of beauty, through "beholding the glory of the Lord" I am filled with excitement and dreams. If I stop short at just the facts though, it is so easy to grow discouraged and tired. He is so good! I pray for you all that God would make this truth real in your lives, that any places of discouragement, He would lift your eyes to His and through beholding Him our lives would be continually transformed into His image, in peace, joy, hope, truth, and love.

California Living

No longer California dreaming here! Transitions are beautiful and exciting, but pretty disorienting and challenging too. I am in a pretty new season of my life, finding joy in totally new ways. Today is my three week anniversary of moving to L.A. so I thought I'd take a minute to reflect and share with you what it's been like.

Places of Joy:

- The fact that every day (literally, ever day so far!) has been 80's, sunny, and gorgeous.

- Each day feels more like home as we unpack and decorate which is so relaxing!

- They have Trader Joe's all over. And its pretty wonderful.

- My roommates are both here now and I am so excited/thankful to be living with them.

- I'm surrounded by people who love many of the same things I do, lots of dreamers and pioneers and artists.

- I can go to the mountains and the beach in the same day!

Praises, I have a job! Well, two actually. And within the first two weeks, which was such a blessing. We have all our furniture now, we've been making new friends, and getting to reconnect with the old. I'm so glad to finally be here. It's been challenging, but I know I'm growing in it.

I don't feel like I've fallen into a rhythm yet. It still feels like I'm trying to dance to a beat I haven't quite internalized yet or sing to a song I don't know all the words to. Some days its great, and others feel uncomfortably off balance. Surrounded by palm trees, it's been hard to make my brain understand that I'm not on vacation, I'm home. I crave the stability of a schedule and job, but at the same time it feels daunting, like I'm locking myself into something I won't be able to get out of. My creative side has secretly relished these past few weeks of no schedule though. I love being able to say yes to new possibilities as they come along! I got to be a reader for a writers group last week and had my first L.A. audition for a short, both very last minute and both a lot of fun. I guess the next challenge will be to set up a schedule that has room for life and spontaneity!

I'll share pictures and fun stories as I have time, I'd like to blog more now and not just when I'm overseas. So we'll see how that goes. Until the next time!

With all my love,

Lauren