just a little free flowin'

I've been meaning to write for the past few weeks. I'd have moments of inspiration but never the follow-through to sit down and write. My thoughts feel like fragments. Or maybe seeds would be a better description. They aren't broken, just not fully grown. And even now as I sit here to write, I don't really know how to phrase the feelings and things rolling around in my brain and body.

So much of my time recently has been spent at work or trying to plan out the practicals of what I need to do next, I haven't had much time to dream. So here is a little free-flow dreaming...




I dream of connecting deeply, intimately, of gathering people together and calling those who feel alone into family.
I dream of adventures and doing wild and crazy things, of having a home that is never empty but is full of friends and soon-to-be-friends. I long to see broken things made new, to listen and not hear peoples words but the cries of their hearts.

I want to create beautiful things, to go deeper and deeper and deeper, to spend more time outside than in, for my hands to be dirty, and my heart pure.
I long for my heart beat to be His, that my gaze my be His, that my first thoughts be of Him. To love like a bride, listen like a daughter, to live as His friend, and like a servant to get low.

soft heart.
generous heart.
strong heart.
courageous heart.
thankful heart.
faithful heart.

heart full of faith.

Like Abraham, I want to give glory to God, fully convinced that He is able to what He has promised, so that I can love life in the tension of what is now and what will be.

I want to do the impossible.



I could go on, but its about time for me to do some real dreaming so I guess I'll end there for now. I love you guys. Miss ya like crazy!

the dance

I've discovered a new thing that brings me joy. Or maybe re-discovered would be more accurate.

dancing.

Yep. Some of my favorite (and most embarrassing!) childhood pictures are of me dancing at various ages and stages of dress (or undress in the case of the embarrassing ones!) I loved it. I remember at church, grabbing my friend Andrea by the hand and pulling her to the middle of the floor during worship and making her dance with me. There was something even then that loved connecting with God not just in mind and spirit, but in body too.

This past year, dance has been something God has continued to bring to my attention. It started last August at our vision retreat before beginning Equip. One of the leaders prayed for me and had a picture of me dancing and said that was powerful in worship. About one month later, during our worship time in Equip one of the leaders spoke something similar to me. She said she felt like God was saying He was going to be teaching me something new in worship, that He was going to use me to help lead the church to new places of creativity in worship, a place of open heavens to get divine breakthrough. Three or four times over the next few months I had people pray similar things over me. 

I wish I could say I took it all to heart and put it to action. But instead, I looked at the "task" instead of Jesus. I went to OCU, I know what dancing looks likes! I didn't feel like a dancer, I felt kind of foolish. I'd dance sometimes when no one was looking, but then I'd get embarrassed that I saw myself dancing and stop. I pushed it all to the back of my mind and assumed it must be a metaphor for something, not a call to really dance.

That is, until work today. I'm working the front desk of a spa where they do massage, and one of the perks of working there is we can get great prices on massages. Last week I had my first one with this wonderful therapist named Gwen. I didn't really know her, but I just felt like I was supposed to go to her. The massage was great! Afterwards I thanked her and had to rush off to meet a friend. But today we had our lunch breaks together and she looked at me intently and asked if I danced. 

"I used to." I replied. "We had to take dance classes for my degree in school and I danced growing up. I really love it. I wouldn't consider myself a dancer, but yeah, I dance. Why?"

She told me that's what she got when she was working on my legs and that she had meant to ask me about it. She continued on with more conviction,

"You need to keep dancing. You don't have to take a class or anything, you can just dance at home. But it's important."

There was a weight to her words that stirred my heart. I can't remember everything she said, but the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through her words so clearly.

"It will make everything flow, it's a release. Places that feel stuck will be freed, it's so important for your creativity. I've been needing to tell you this but hadn't gotten the chance.   You really need to dance again."

I don't know if Gwen knew she was prophesying over me or not, but there was a change in the atmosphere of that break room that was unmistakably God. How kind He is to speak to us in so many different ways and places!

My roommates are both gone tonight, and our apartment has beautiful solid wood floors. We joked when we moved in that we could totally run a dance studio out of our apartment to make some extra money. And tonight, the studio is open!

I'm writing this during my water breaks. I feel silly even writing this, that I'm dancing around in my apartment alone like a crazy person, but to be honest I really relish this kind of silly. My pulse is rushing, there's just an exuberant joy that dancing stirs up. I really needed it! I needed a creative outlet and a spiritual outlet, and He gave me that little encouragement I needed.

Let us praise His name with dancing and make music to Him with tambourine and harp. ~ Psalm 149:3

 

Home

Just thought I'd share some pictures of our apartment so you can see what it all looks like. It's so nice having furniture and getting settled into a rhythm of things. We had our first roomie dinner last night and got to just catch up and pray for each other which was wonderful. So blessed to be able to live with these girls and to live in such a bright and beautiful place!

Our living room! 

The big windows are my favorite thing, it makes everything so light and cheery.

This is Colleen and my room. College 2.0!

Brusha brusha brusha!

Kitchen/dining room

Our cozy kitchen

My favorite part of the kitchen!

There you have it! Still have a few boxes to unpack and we have some decorating still to do, but it's home!

Beholding Glory

What is before my eyes determines what is in my heart. I do not mean just my physical eyes, but my spiritual eyes as well. I was reading through old journal entries this morning to remind myself of what God has been doing the past few months. In doing so, I came across an entry from April where I was feeling very defeated and tired. In response to my cries, I felt God asking me where my eyes were, if they were on Him or the gap where I saw my lack. He whispered to my weary heart that I needed to learn to live in love and not in facts. Now please hear me, I'm not saying we should ignore the facts before us. But it was a question of where I landed, was I going to stop with what was before me or press in to the deeper truth behind.

Since moving to L.A. a verse I have taken much encouragement from is 2 Corinthians 3:18 which says:

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."

Previously, this verse spoke to me about how we are already glorious because of what Christ has done for us and in us and how we are growing in that glory. This morning though, as I re-read this entry, God brought this verse to my mind and highlighted "beholding the glory of the Lord." I am transformed into the same image as what I am beholding. If all I place before me are discouraging facts or seeing things as they are, my heart lives in only what is possible and it is so easy to get discouraged not only with my situations but with myself as well. If I am only seeing facts about myself, I miss the potential and future God has for me and it is so easy to feel defeated.

When God told me to live in love and not facts, He wasn't saying to ignore the facts. But to take that step of faith past them, into the place of love and identity. Facts are just facts, but what am I choosing to do with them? Do I take them to Jesus, and behold them in the light of His love and glory? Love sees not just what is now, but what is possible. When a parent holds their new child, they don't just see the wrinkled little face and diapers, but are filled with excitement at who this child will be and their love enables them to dream. This morning, I felt God speaking the same thing over my city. If I look at L.A. through the lens of beauty, through "beholding the glory of the Lord" I am filled with excitement and dreams. If I stop short at just the facts though, it is so easy to grow discouraged and tired. He is so good! I pray for you all that God would make this truth real in your lives, that any places of discouragement, He would lift your eyes to His and through beholding Him our lives would be continually transformed into His image, in peace, joy, hope, truth, and love.

California Living

No longer California dreaming here! Transitions are beautiful and exciting, but pretty disorienting and challenging too. I am in a pretty new season of my life, finding joy in totally new ways. Today is my three week anniversary of moving to L.A. so I thought I'd take a minute to reflect and share with you what it's been like.

Places of Joy:

- The fact that every day (literally, ever day so far!) has been 80's, sunny, and gorgeous.

- Each day feels more like home as we unpack and decorate which is so relaxing!

- They have Trader Joe's all over. And its pretty wonderful.

- My roommates are both here now and I am so excited/thankful to be living with them.

- I'm surrounded by people who love many of the same things I do, lots of dreamers and pioneers and artists.

- I can go to the mountains and the beach in the same day!

Praises, I have a job! Well, two actually. And within the first two weeks, which was such a blessing. We have all our furniture now, we've been making new friends, and getting to reconnect with the old. I'm so glad to finally be here. It's been challenging, but I know I'm growing in it.

I don't feel like I've fallen into a rhythm yet. It still feels like I'm trying to dance to a beat I haven't quite internalized yet or sing to a song I don't know all the words to. Some days its great, and others feel uncomfortably off balance. Surrounded by palm trees, it's been hard to make my brain understand that I'm not on vacation, I'm home. I crave the stability of a schedule and job, but at the same time it feels daunting, like I'm locking myself into something I won't be able to get out of. My creative side has secretly relished these past few weeks of no schedule though. I love being able to say yes to new possibilities as they come along! I got to be a reader for a writers group last week and had my first L.A. audition for a short, both very last minute and both a lot of fun. I guess the next challenge will be to set up a schedule that has room for life and spontaneity!

I'll share pictures and fun stories as I have time, I'd like to blog more now and not just when I'm overseas. So we'll see how that goes. Until the next time!

With all my love,

Lauren

Heading Home

We are leaving for the airport in just a few minutes now. These three weeks have gone by so fast! This has been one of the best outreaches I've ever gotten to be a part of and I am so thankful for the time I got to spend on campus and in Cape Town as a whole. It really was just like living life intentionally and less like a "mission trip." I will post more when I get back to Norman, but just wanted to let you all know we are alive and well and heading back (as much as we may want to stay!).

Here's some quick highlights of the past week though:

- Tess & Skylar got engaged at Cape Point!!!
- Today was my friend Courtney's birthday! Got to say goodbye which I was afraid I wouldn't be able to AND I got to wish her a Happy Birthday.
- Made friends here who know friends of mine in Cote d'Ivoire and at the church I'm going to be a part of in L.A. I love how Jesus brings things together so perfectly, step by step! Such a cool reminder of how the body works.
- Got to have our last day in Masi and be part of their healing service and love on the kids again.
- We got to have Lifegroup this week! Courtney got to come which was so exciting, and we had another student wander in to see what was going on. He said God has been pursuing him for the past few months but he'd been running away. He was so open and we got to pray with him and get him plugged in with some students who are really on fire for God.


I have all my pictures up now on facebook too! Here is the link if you'd like to check them out:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3040872032106.2117440.1572210147&type=3


More to come later! I have two very long flights ahead to process the past three weeks. : )
Love you all and so thankful for your prayers and support!

Blessings,

~ Lauren

Simon's Town Treasures

We got to see a little more of the beautiful country today since the campus was closed for holiday. Today is Freedom Day, which marks the anniversary of free elections where all citizens can vote regardless of color. I've asked around to see how South Africans celebrate, but apparently its more of a day off work than a big celebration day, no fireworks or anything. Penguins and seals were a pretty fun way to celebrate though! We spent the day in Simon's Town, first with a trip to Boulder Beach to see some penguins and then took a boat ride out to Seal Island.

Penguin daddy keeping his baby safe and warm!

Penguins chillin' on the beach

Learning a lesson in community from the penguins! Talk about family.

Penguins in warm weather, who knew!

The bay at Simon's Town

Seal Island, home to over 70,000 seals

So many seals!

Shookie enjoying the scent of Seal Island

View of our raft/boat

Cool kids at the back of the boat

Team getting our land legs back after!

Second Week

Wow, I can't believe we only have one more full week left! Let me fill you in on what this last week has looked like since I wrote on last time on Tuesday.

Wednesday we went to Masiphumelele (or Masi for short) which is one of the townships near Cape Town. Torree, one of our leaders, spent about nine weeks here last summer so she was so happy to be back and see familiar faces. We were asked not to bring cameras to try to not come across as tourists or outsiders, but here is a picture from Google to give you a feel for the town.

Streets of Masi

We joined up with some friends from All Nations church who live and work in Masi to pray for people. At first we broke up into groups and just walked around the town, praying and asking the Holy Spirit what He was wanting to do. It was so interesting though, people in the townships are open to spiritual things and we met a number of believers, but most people didn't want prayer out in the open. There is an idea that prayer needs to be kept in the house or in church and it is seen as shameful to pray outside. I feel like God has so much freedom to bring here in just showing Himself as a real, personal God is who is not confined by walls or buildings. We saw a number of healings, from a sprained ankle to toothaches, as well as a salvation! So it was a great day and I am excited to go back next week.
The people from All Nations who work there are incredible. Spu and Whitney were the two we got to spend time with. They live here, work here, and put their everything into investing in this town. Keep them in your prayers! God is doing awesome things through them here.

Unfortunately we've had some bad weather the past few days, it stormed really bad on Thursday so we weren't able to have lifegroup. We will hopefully be rescheduling for this week though! I've been keeping in touch with Courtney (the friend Alex and I made last week who is really curious about God) and I think she's going to get to hangout with us tomorrow on our off day. We had some great conversations on campus Thursday morning though. Please be praying that we can find a place and time for lifegroup next week! I'm really excited to see all these friendships and connections joined into one body; to give fellowship and encouragement to believers, and for those who are seeking to see what Jesus looks like lived out in community.

Today was a holiday weekend so campus was closed. Our team got to go to Seal Island though and see some penguins as well, which was so much fun. I'll post some pictures in another post.

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement!

Cape Town: A Little Piece of Heaven

Picture Update! Here's some of my favorite pictures in an attempt to give you a glimpse of the beauty of Cape Town. I don't have many pictures from campus because we're mostly talking to people and hanging out, but here are some pictures from our day off last weekend, we drove over the mountain to see the views at Chapman's Peak, got to see the townships we'll be going to this week, and got to see the sunset at the beach. It was a nice day of rest!

Roomie picture on Chapman's Peak Drive

Beautiful sunset at the beach at Nordhook

View from Chapman's Peak

Team picture at Nordhook beach

View of Cape Town from Rhodes Memorial

Love the lion! Enjoying the view from Rhodes Memorial.

Hiking near campus, so pretty!

First Week

This first week has blown by! To start off, I must say, Cape Town is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It is also one of the most diverse places, I'm pretty sure this is a little like what Heaven will look like. I've never been surrounded by so many beautiful shades of skin tone and variety of languages and accents. It's pretty incredible! A move of God on UCT campus will literally touch the four corners of the world.

So, to catch you up on our time here so far, we left Oklahoma last Monday and got in late Tuesday night. We took Wednesday to rest up, get over jet lag, and get a feel for the city. Thursday, Friday, and today we've been on campus. We go to campus from about 10:30 to 1, come back to our guest house for lunch and then go back to campus for the afternoon. Each time on campus looks a little different, we just go out in twos and ask the Holy Spirit what He's wanting to do. Sometimes it prayer walking around campus, sometimes praying for the sick, and other times its talking to students and getting to know them and this city.

Caroline on campus!

We've already made a ton of great friendships and are going to be having our first lifegroup Wednesday or Thursday of this week. We've made relationships with a cool variety of people faith wise, from strong Christians who just don't have fellowship on campus to those who don't know God but are hungry to ask questions and know more. Since the Kennedys will be moving here in the year, they asked us to really focus on campus and the students here. Jason had a dream the other night where he was in a big building with Greek type columns (similar to the picture above!) and he saw members of our team standing by different columns around the room. He felt like God was telling him this trip we would be meeting and raising up the men and women who would become the pillars of this new church plant and part of the exciting things God is doing at UCT. Talk about encouraging, right?! Thats definitely put things in a new perspective while we've been meeting people.

Personally, the Holy Spirit has been talking to me a lot about what it looks like to wait on Him and build a good foundation. We want this trip to have lasting impact, and so I don't want to be going on my own strength at all. There's been times on campus where I haven't felt permission to do anything but pray, which has been hard for me because you don't see immediate results. It's not about my timeline or "performance" though, its about being a wise builder and trusting what He's doing. God gave me the picture of tilling a new field. We are in the planting season and we can throw seeds on a new patch of ground and some will grow, but if we take time to sow in the rows He's lined up and to till the soil so the rich soil is brought to the surface then we will see so much more fruit in the long term. Practically this has looked like taking a lot of prayer time, and then walking out in faith when He does give leadings to talk to someone or pray for them.

He's also been speaking to me a lot about His compassion, and learning what it means to go out in love. Although there are definitely cultural differences, no matter where we are the cries of people's hearts are the same. We all want to find meaning and to know we are loved and valued. The same picture of soil has spoken to me about hearts too. He's been teaching me that moving in His compassion is crucial because it puts value on every single person I talk to, which breaks through any tough exterior to the soft soil. Even if people aren't interested in God right now, I want every person I talk to to leave feeling loved and valued. I know it sounds simple, but that picture has just been so helpful for me!

One exciting story to close with, Alex and I met a girl named Courtney today and I'm so excited to hangout with her more! She was sitting outside by a tree and Alex felt God saying to go talk to her, and he got a word about her having a rough relationship with her dad. We went and sat next to her and talked for a bit, and then Alex was able to share what he felt God had been saying about her dad. It was right on, and just really opened a door for us to share with her about how God is so real and personal, and how Jesus loves her individually. She said she was open to the idea of God, but not sure and had a lot of questions. We got to talk for about 30 minutes or so before she had to go to class, but before she left we got to pray with her to hear God's voice. She said there'd been things in her life that seemed too weird to seem coincidence that she thought might have been God, but that she'd had all these questions and never felt like she had heard God. After praying though, she felt God speak to her, saying it was Him and to go for this, to keep asking and seeking! Come on Jesus! She was super nice and was just so open. She even offered to show us around the city some and even teach us how to surf if we got the time! We exchanged numbers and I'm really hoping she'll be able to come to lifegroup, she said she'd love to if she can.

Keep Courtney and the rest of the students in your prayers! I'll let you all know more about when the lifegroup will be so you can pray more for that. We get to go to the townships on Wednesday too for a healing service one of our partner churches does, so prayers for for that as well!

Love you all! And Happy Birthday to my wonderful brother John, wish I were there to celebrate with you all but so glad I got to see your faces today via Skype. Thankful for internet today and being able to connect, even with a six hour time difference. Okay, dinner time! More later.

~ Lauren

The Eagle Has Landed

More like the AirBus has landed, those planes were huge! We have made it though, safe and sound. Thank you Jesus, there were no complications or even delays on any of our flights. In fact, our 12 hr flight from Amsterdam to Cape Town had a lot of open seats so we got to spread out and have extra room to catch up on sleep. I'm sure jet lag will hit later, but we're all moved in to Little Scotia, our home away from home for the next three weeks.

Common room at Little Scotia.

Our housing has been such a blessing! Because it's off season for vacations, we got a really great deal on these guest houses about a block from campus. I'm really excited to be so close to the university since that is where we will be spending most of our time. For those familiar with OU, we are near their version of Campus Corner. So we get to not just meet students on campus when they are in class mode, but be part of their "outside school lives" too. I've seen God get ahold of college students in incredible ways the past five years, I know that was a time he radically changed me personally! So its awesome that we get to do the same thing, just on a different continent and in a new country.

Tomorrow the plan is to see the campus, get a feel for the town, and rest of jet lag so we're not exhausted for the next week. Then we can dive in fully rested and filled up on Thursday! We've only seen it at night, but I can tell already that this is a beautiful city! Excited to see more tomorrow.

Blessings,

~ Lauren

To Cape Town Tomorrow!

Bag is packed, excitement is growing, and the clock is ticking! We are meeting at the church at 9:30 tomorrow morning, people are welcome to come around 9:45-10ish for our send-off, then at promptly 10:15 we will be heading to the airport! We fly into Atlanta first, then Amsterdam and then finally CAPE TOWN!

I'm so excited I literally could hardly drive home from the grocery store  tonight where I was getting last minute things. Here are some random thoughts/promises/prophetic words spoken over this trip that have me so excited:

- We are sent! Some trips go because it is a good thing, and it works well, but this trip has a very specific purpose and we are being sent by God.

- Awaken. He keeps speaking this word to me, and He's for sure been awakening new dreams and life in my heart. This word to me speaks so much of His love, I know for me it has been understanding the love of God that has drawn me so much closer to Him. Song of Songs, the book of love, uses awake and arise multiple times, and in Isaiah calls out, "Arise, shine, for your light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you."I believe the Lord is going to be awakening hearts in Cape Town by a revelation of His intimate love. His glory has risen over Cape Town, we just get to go be heralds of that good news! The Kingdom is here.

- God's given me some verses of promise for our trip to pray into as well if you want to join me. So far He's spoken Isaiah 61 and Luke 3:34. I'll let you know as we get more verses of encouragement.

- God is doing a new thing on this trip! We had a word that through this trip He's changing the way we send out teams as a church and our mindsets of what missions are. I'm so excited to just get to live on campus for three weeks and just let the Holy Spirit set the agenda. We're going to be able to go to just live in the city and love the people in a way that invites Heaven to come on earth and brings people into new encounters with God.


Okay, well tomorrow will be a long day so I better go check my list again and get some rest! So thankful for my wonderful Lifegroup praying over us this morning and my sweet girls taking time to do so tonight. Thank you all for your prayers too!

Let the journey begin!


~ Lauren

p.s. - One quick update, due to health concerns, Bo will no longer be able to lead this trip. We will all be so sad to not have him with us but fully trust this decision and what God is doing with him, our team, and this trip. Blake, our college pastor will be the guy leader for the team now. He's wonderful and we're glad for his willingness and excitement to join in so last minute.

The Returning

Back to blogging, back to Africa! Thats right, 10 days from now I will be boarding a plane to Cape Town, South Africa with a team of nine incredible world changers for a three week outreach. This is my Equip class I will be traveling with:

Heather, our EQUIP Admin (far left) won't be coming with us unfortunately, but the rest of the team from left to right is
Caitlin, Lauren Shook (aka Shookie), Tess, Skylar, Bo (our EQUIP director), Alex, and then Caroline and I are in front

Plus Torree, our other fearless leader:

This is Torree in Cape Town, she went last year and is dreaming about church planting there soon.
We're so blessed to have her as a part of our team! She's wonderful.

So thats our team, and here is where we will be spending most of our time, the lovely University of Cape Town.

UCT has been called the Harvard of Africa, students come here from across the continent and even world. What an awesome opportunity to reach not only South Africa but the nations of the world! We will be partnering with a ministry on campus and this is where the majority of our time will be spent. We will be going to some of the townships too though, pictures to come when we get there!

A team from my home church, Antioch Community Church in Norman, is moving to Cape Town in a year to plant a church here. So our trip is helping to build relationships and sow into what they will be doing! We're not sure what exactly our time here will look like, we want to stay free to follow the Spirit as He is moving. But our heart is just for people to have a fresh (or first!) encounter with God, to learn to hear His voice, and to see the Kingdom come in power. I'm working on a drama for us to do on campus too, not sure what that will look like yet but it's going to be great.

Our class is taking time before the trip to pray and fast for our time there, and Jesus has already been building so much expectancy in my heart. I'd love for you to join us in praying! Please pray that our team would walk in faith in boldness and that He would be preparing the hearts of the people we'll be meeting. Thanks for reading and praying! More to come soon.

Blessings,

Lauren